There was a young lady from Maureillas
Who got stung by a bee on her sorry ass
“Mon Dieu what a prick”
cried our little French chick
“Now we must find a vicar to Maureillas” (marry us?)

A popular girl from La Jonq
Stopped work after her 50th bonk.
She walked round the town
Cos she couldn’t sit down
Til numbed by a litre of plonk.

There was a young man from Canet
who when peeing had tendance to spray
He was much in demand
For a walk in the sand
to soothe jelly fish stinging away

There was a young man from Port Bou
Who stuck to his girlfriend like glue
She traded him in
For a cartload of gin
And everyone said ‘what a coup’.

There once was a fille from Cerbère
Who got bit on the bum by a bear
‘Twas a bit of a cheek
And our gal fair did shriek
Til the bear got chased off by her mère!

There was a young woman from Elne
Who swallowed some pips from a meln
When asked “does it hurt?”
She unbuttoned her shirt
and displayed a large tum with a bell on!!

A fellow I know who’s from Claira,
Looked just like Tom Cruise only squarer.
A good-looking buck,
Not at all like a duck,
A handsome young drake would be fairer.

When travelling back from Le Perthus
With a collection of girls who were loose,
I was stopped by the Douane
Who searched through my van
And asked “Are they for your own use?”

A seedy old drunkard from Perps
Got sozzled each night drinking turps.
His favourite game
Was to set things aflame
By igniting his inflammable burps.


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