There was a young lady from Maureillas
Who got stung by a bee on her sorry ass
“Mon Dieu what a prick”
cried our little French chick
“Now we must find a vicar to Maureillas” (marry us?)

A popular girl from La Jonq
Stopped work after her 50th bonk.
She walked round the town
Cos she couldn’t sit down
Til numbed by a litre of plonk.

There was a young man from Canet
who when peeing had tendance to spray
He was much in demand
For a walk in the sand
to soothe jelly fish stinging away

There was a young man from Port Bou
Who stuck to his girlfriend like glue
She traded him in
For a cartload of gin
And everyone said ‘what a coup’.

There once was a fille from Cerbère
Who got bit on the bum by a bear
‘Twas a bit of a cheek
And our gal fair did shriek
Til the bear got chased off by her mère!

There was a young woman from Elne
Who swallowed some pips from a meln
When asked “does it hurt?”
She unbuttoned her shirt
and displayed a large tum with a bell on!!

A fellow I know who’s from Claira,
Looked just like Tom Cruise only squarer.
A good-looking buck,
Not at all like a duck,
A handsome young drake would be fairer.

When travelling back from Le Perthus
With a collection of girls who were loose,
I was stopped by the Douane
Who searched through my van
And asked “Are they for your own use?”

A seedy old drunkard from Perps
Got sozzled each night drinking turps.
His favourite game
Was to set things aflame
By igniting his inflammable burps.

A P-O mosquito called Bert
Honed his sting til it stood up quite pert
Then he dived for the kill
and drunk blood to his fill
Before rolling with glee in the dirt!



  1. A poet from Amelie-les-Bains
    Wrote poems that never would scan
    “The reason I fear”
    He said with a tear
    “I always try go get as many words into the last line as I possibly can”

  2. There was a young lady from Thuir
    Who fell into a vat of Byrrh
    She drank and she drank
    But when she sank
    She cried get me out of here.

  3. I open my inbox what can I do
    Is it excitement or that vindaloo
    I type on my phone as I sit on my throne
    My Limerick for PO is due

  4. A sad old man from Le Tech
    who’s marital life was a wreck
    accosted some whores
    and invited them indoors
    their response – go to feck!

  5. There was a blond bombshell named Kate
    Who never put on any weight.
    E’er willing to dine
    She would sup all the wine
    And scoff every scrap from her plate.

    With apologies

  6. Let me tell you a story I know
    Of an English gal in the P-O
    A great rag she ran
    With her Anglophone clan
    Getting pissed on the deck of her bateau

Leave a Comment