I have often been called a proper little Madame, and that was well before I became a real one!
Back then, being called Madame felt faintly alarming. It made me feel so OLD! Surely I didn’t give off stern, disapproving vibes, dress in tweed or wear sensible shoes? Or look like the owner of a house of ill repute? Surely Madame was the name of my mother-in-law, not a bright young thing like me! In fact, here in France, Madame, Mademoiselle and Miss are not always as straightforward as they seem.
Once upon a time…
Until the French Revolution, Madame, (my Lady, equivalent to Monsieur, my Lord) was mainly used to address the bourgeoisie, whilst Mademoiselle, (my Damsel) was the form of address used for both younger and older ‘common’ ladies.
Young, unmarried men were addressed as ‘damoiseau’, which translates roughly as squire, but this disappeared from common usage over a century ago.
In 1690, a dictionary defined Mademoiselle as a ‘name given to all girls who are not married, provided they are not ‘the dregs of the people, or daughters of Artisans’. Perish the thought that we might feel obliged to even converse with the dregs of the people – or worse, artisans!!
Anyway, as we know, the Revolution wasn’t the best time to be boasting about one’s noble origins, and it was at this defining point in French history, that Madame came simply to refer to a married lady and Mademoiselle an unmarried lady.
Enter the 21st century…
For years, French official forms loved asking women to declare themselves as either Madame or Mademoiselle, while men simply cruised along as Monsieur, marital mystery intact. People (mainly women) started to ask why women should have to reveal their relationship status to order a library card or pay council tax, so in the last decade, Mademoiselle largely disappeared from official government paperwork, replaced by the all-purpose Madame. Many forms and websites now follow suit — although, like old wallpaper and fax machines, some examples still linger.
In 2014, French Prime Minister François Fillon directed prefectures to remove discriminatory and inflammatory vocabulary such as (maiden name) or nom d’épouse (married name) from official documents. Maiden name boxes were deemed politically incorrect and an intrusion into women’s private life.
But for economy’s sake, old forms were still to be used “until supplies run out” — and some are still lurking around in 2026. In fact, that Mademoiselle tick box remains alive and kicking in certain corners, satisfying the French love of over-administration.
So here we are, many years later, and despite ‘#MeToo’ and various other hashtags spreading across borders and social media like wildfire, many official forms remain the same. Although President Emmanuel Macron and his gender-balanced cabinet have certainly been working to rid France of its macho culture, but pigs might fly! Maybe c’est la France, c’est la vie!
And for linguists amongst you, and those struggling to make sense of the French language on a daily basis, you might be delighted to know that, even as we speak, the militants of the linguistic and feminist struggle are busy sending out petitions proposing a total neutering of the language by abolishing masculine and feminine agreements!
In real life…
Paperwork is one thing. Everyday language is another.
You’ll still hear Mademoiselle in shops, cafés, hair salons and from older generations. Sometimes it’s charming. Sometimes flattering. Sometimes deeply unwelcome. To some women it means, “How lovely, I look younger than I am.” To others it means, “Why are we doing this in 2026?” Would you ask a man the same thing?
Meanwhile, the French language keeps evolving…
French has also continued its long-running debate over gendered job titles. The Académie Française, upholder and defender of the French language, is less delighted. Nor is it thrilled that many traditionally masculine nouns are now used in the feminine too.
It is now acceptable to talk of une avocate, une banquière, une professeure, une docteure…... Yet Madame LE Président remains stubbornly masculine. Maybe that will change when the French elect a female president.
There can be no doubt that the French language is a little male-heavy. In fact, the masculine form of adjectives grammatically trumps all. If one small man and 5,000 buxom wenches were stranded on a desert island, they would still be described collectively as gros, the masculine adjective, and not grosses in the feminine.
Not surprising really when you learn that grammarians who helped set the gender rules for modern French in the 17th century declared: “The male is the most noble; he must prevail whenever masculine and feminine appear in the same sentence.” Yeah, right!
Personally, I’m not expecting miracles…and anyway, I rather like having doors opened for me, I enjoy being treated like a lady, when it suits me, and I’m proud of my hard earned ‘Little Madame’ status.
We asked some french friends how important it was to be addressed by the correct term